The Dave Green Zone

Netflix has a feature where you can stream a selection of movies and TV shows directly from their web site. They have a lot of classic films like Casablanca and Dr. Zhivago, which I’ve always meant to watch. They also have all of the seasons of Saved By The Bell. Long story short, right now I am watching the episode where they do the fake “rockumentary” on the band “Zack Attack.” It is looking like a very Bayside kinda weekend….

I was at Kroger a few days ago and saw that they had strawberry flavored Whopper’s (malted milk balls). I had never seen this particular variety of Whoppers before, so I was excited to buy a box. Unfortunately though, they only sold them in big cartons (rather than the smaller boxes), and I am not willing to risk buying a jumbo size box of an untested flavor of Whoppers. So, alas, I still have not tried them.

I try to play it off as no big deal, but whenever someone writes a negative comment about me on Youtube, it really hurts my feelings.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I love television. Unfortunately though, television as we know it is dying fast. Due to the writers strike, all of the shows I care about are ending for the foreseeable future. We’ll soon be inundated with reruns, reality shows, game shows, and other crap the networks have stockpiled. I’ve already subscribed to Netflix and have considered reading, but that’s all just polishing the brass on the Titanic. Movies and books are great, but they’ll never replace the magic of television. So, while I support the writers in their quest for a piece of sweet Internet revenue pie, I hope that they come to a speedy conclusion. After all, it is the lonely geeks who suffer the most.

I have to confess that I truly believe that writing these confessions will be beneficial, but I think I’m also afraid of opening up too much, too fast. This all started out as a joke, but I started to realize that maybe I should just open up a little bit and expose some of my deeper fears and frustrations. However, in the interest of entertainment, I’m trying to balance between the humorous ones and the serious ones. This is a confession about my confessions, which is serious, but funny when you think about it.

Well, it is December and the Christmas season is now in full swing, but this year I’ve chosen not participate. I will be cordial. If someone says “Merry Christmas Dave”, I won’t leave them hanging. I will buy Christmas presents for everyone I expect to get presents from, and I will go to my parent’s house for the family Christmas party, but I only do those things because I’m obligated to.

It’s just that I feel like I am being forced to be in a festive mood, which I am really starting to resent this year. For example, when I went to the grocery store the other day, they had Christmas trees out front, so the entrance had a nice pine smell. Then inside, they had all sorts of Christmas decorations and Christmas music playing, and I was kind of going into a Christmas trance. That was when I realized though, that it was all just elaborate industrial psychology designed to make me lose my shopping inhibitions and buy more stuff. Nice try Kroger, I’m on to you.

Also, it is really tough to feel Christmassy when it is unseasonably warm. Here in Texas we’ve been having record high temperatures. It was in the 70’s today. The weather, for me, just underscores the fact that the Christmas season is starting way too early. Some stores put out Christmas decorations along with the Halloween stuff. If it were jacket weather, I might have let early Christmas slip by, but not anymore. I believe the eventual goal is to have some kind of perverse society where we celebrate Christmas every day (see: Nightmare Before Christmas). Thanksgiving is already starting to be completely eclipsed by “Black Friday”. I know someone who skipped having a nice meal at home with his family to wait in line at Best Buy! Why enjoy time with your family when you can buy a $200 sucky laptop?

I don’t hate Christmas, but I am definitely having some problems with it this year, and I think it would be best for both of us if we spent some time apart. Hopefully, after some time, we will reconcile. Or, maybe I will be visited by three ghosts and see the error of my ways. Until either of those things happens, though, I will be sitting this Christmas out.

P.S. Feel free to call the Dave Green Hotline (210-767-DAVE) to leave your comments or holiday messages.