The Dave Green Zone

I don’t think people should review movies they haven’t seen, but I’m going to make a one time exception. Here is my review of “Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen”:

Horrible.

I guess I could be wrong, but I know I’m not; movies like this are an insult to our collective intelligence. I know it’s escapist fun, but if we keep watching movies we know are going to be bad, then they’ll just keep making bad movies. So let’s put an end to it right now and refuse to pay 10 dollars to see a 300 million dollar toy commercial!

(Editor’s note: I do feel bad about unleashing the power of the Dave Green Zone on Transformers 2. Now it will probably end up losing a bunch of money and go straight to DVD. I’m sorry for any financial losses, but I could no longer keep quiet.)

I just got back from a matinee of “No Country For Old Men,” and let me tell you, that was quite a motion picture. Apparently though, the movie to see this weekend was that Hannah Montana. There was a line all the way outside for that thing. I imagine that with a line that long, it must be something spectacular. Unfortunately, I will never know; there is something extremely creepy about me saying “One for Hannah Montana please…” It would be a funny premise for a video, but I’d probably get put on some kind of FBI watch list. Alas, I am stuck watching Oscar-calibur Cohen brothers movies aboout psychopathic killers with silly haircuts.

Or perhaps I should call this “Deal or Spud?” because there sure are a lot of potatoes in this product… I am of course talking about Marie Callender’s Crock Pot Meals. Now, I am a man of very simple tastes, a “meat and potatoes” kind of guy, if you will. I am therefore pleased to say that that is exactly what you get from Marie. There is nothing sweeter than being able to dump a bag of frozen stuff into the crock pot before work and then return to a bowl of steaming-hot stewy beef and potatoes with soggy vegetables. It isn’t great, but it is certainly passable, and as far as frozen dinners go, “passable” is probably as good as you can get. I would definitely purchase this product again, though I might alternate between different varieties, because that is the spice of life (which reminds me, bring salt, because this stuff is pretty bland).

I give it Three out of Five stars. I will make a cool graphic for my star rating system some other time.